Truth Spell Dispel!
by Aidrienne Levine
Summary: Merton can't seem to get rid of that darned truth spell! Will Lori make him spill all his secrets? Read and please Review. M/T SLASH (or hints at it, at least)
1. Captain, Lieutenant, and Ms. Vulcan

I hope you all like this fic. It was just too easy with that whole truth spell thing; I can't believe this is the first fic up for it. WE NEED MORE FICS! As I'm sure you have all heard, season three is the end! Soon, all the BW nourishment we will have is fic, so start writing peoples! I hope that everyone likes this and I hope that everyone reviews, because when you don't.. I cry. Seriously. Okay, maybe not seriously. Please excuse my pathetic use of Star Trek terms, I watch that show.aw, hell, I never watch that show. Review anyway! Also, for all of you REAL Danny fans, there is a reference to "Nation Lampoons' Senior Trip ("I'll cover Mom!"). I hope you like it! If you don't review I'll come to your house and ERRR!!! O.k..I won't do anything. But please do. Have I mentioned you need to review? ? So after my repetitive disjointed opening, please read this bizarre first chapter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I wish this truth spell would dispel!" Merton whined as Lori, Tommy, and he arrived at the Lair. Lori was still shivering after almost becoming a Lori-kebob, and Merton was now almost completely defenseless against the horror that was Becky, the gang had decided to chill at the Lair until things calmed down. It wasn't every day you fought an evil witch-ghost.  
  
"I don't know, Merton. Now we can find out your secret feelings toward us!" Lori said triumphantly, quickly returning to her flamboyant enthusiastic usual demeanor after almost being fried. She asked pointedly, "Merton how do you really feel about me?"  
  
Merton shot her a dark look as he started to boot up his computer. "I think you're a mean, cruel, teasing." ERRR!!! The buzzing made Merton tremble, his black spikes shaking noticeably. "Although I sometimes think you're nice." He muttered through clenched teeth. The shaking subsided.  
  
"And for the record, I hated that!" Don't ask me any more questions! I'm at a huge disadvantage here!"  
  
Lori grinned evilly, elbowing Tommy, obviously disregarding Merton's discomfort. "Why don't you try?"  
  
Tommy grinned, then chuckled. "Naw. His secrets should stay secrets I think. How would you feel if it happened to you?"  
  
"I haven't got any secrets, so I wouldn't really care." Lori answered with her usual bravado.  
  
"Because you've got nothing in your head." Merton muttered to himself. He was using his computer to search the Internet for the anti- spell for his truth spell. Tommy stood behind him, as usual looking over his friend's shoulder at the computer screen. Suddenly, Merton pulled back sharply from the desk, forcing Tommy to jump back quickly.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tommy asked in alarm.  
  
"Nothing." Merton muttered. ERRR!!! "Ack! Okay, okay! These websites, they're crap. You can't just throw a bunch of disgusting animal parts into a cauldron with some strange sound herbs and cast a spell. In fact, animal parts have nothing to do with casting spells, unless for some reason I decided to worship the Christian devil! In fact, I'm not even initiated into the Craft of Wicca, so I certainly couldn't counteract a powerful spell cast by a Witch from the sixteen hundreds! All I know about Wicca I learned from books, most of which were outdated!  
  
Both of his friends were staring at him with their mouths open. Finally, Tommy spoke up. "Well, will it wear off? If it won't, there goes your hopes of becoming a politician."  
  
Merton sighed and scrunched up his eyes. "I know, I know. I think it will wear off although I only know that through intense research into the area (for my own purposes)" He winked at Tommy, "And not by some godly knowledge I sometimes seem to possess."  
  
"Oh," Tommy said, staring at Merton with a sort of awe.  
  
"Please don't ask me anymore questions." Merton pleaded, logging offline.  
  
"But Merton!" Lori interjected. "You haven't told us what you think of Tommy!"  
  
"I haven't and I don't want to. Please don't make me. Must you insist on being such a pain in the."  
  
"Ahh, alright there! Keep it G-rated, someone's kid sister might be reading this!" Tommy put in quickly. Merton just grumbled. Tommy tried to play peacemaker before Merton got really mad and gave them all another speech. "Why don't we just forget this whole thing and watch a movie or play some video games or something?"  
  
Merton actually smiled, and he rushed off to his bookcase to grab a cassette. "I have "Buffy: The Musical" taped!"  
  
Lori stuck out her tongue and grabbed a movie out of the purse she was carrying (which magically appeared out of a hole in the story). "Let's watch "Boys and Girls"! It's so romantic yet so unpredictable! I'm surprised every time I watch it!"  
  
The boys started to gag, seeing as they had tried to watch it once, and only managed to suffer through about 15 minutes of the horrid and sickly-sweet, completely predictable plot. Tommy tried to pick one they would all like, pulling the "Labyrinth" off the shelf.  
  
"No."Merton said.".we watched that one last fic."  
  
"Oh." Tommy replied, completely confused. He tried again. "How about Monty Python and the Holy Grail" Tommy decided. "It's got the romance for Lori.wait, actually, it hasn't. But it's got fighting, and the killer bunny scene for Merton. Is this good?"  
  
Both nodded their heads, and went upstairs to take over the living room TV from Becky, who gave up in her fight for Dawson when Merton threatened to shoe Tommy her baby pictures. She stomped upstairs to pout as Merton set up the VCR.  
  
During the movie, nothing much happened. Seriously. Nothing ever really happens when you watch movies, except you watch movies. They also have a tendency of leaving a three-hour gap in storylines, so I'll fill it in with a little poem that I wrote.  
  
"His hair is spiky,  
  
His names not Mikey,  
  
So he doesn't eat cereal.  
  
He like the color black  
  
Your mum sat on a tack  
  
And isn't this poem Dreary-ull."  
  
Thank you, no applause please. Then the movie was over.  
  
Once they returned downstairs, with Lori still munching on something that was presumably popcorn, they wondered what they should do next. Suddenly Lori was struck with an idea.  
  
"Mwa ha ha ha!" She laughed insanely. The boys looked at her strangely, and she abruptly stopped. "Merton, what do you think of Tommy?"  
  
"I think he's cool." Merton answered simply, not lying yet not elaborating.  
  
"No, seriously, explain in full.  
  
"No! Just because I'm under a truth spell doesn't mean I have to answer what you ask me!"  
  
"Aww, but Merton!" Lori whined, doing a good impression of Tommy's "Face" ("Lori! He's making the face!") "If you don't answer, there won't be a shocking revelation and this story won't go they way I want it to go!!" she shouted as she balled her fists and stomped her foot. Merton resisted the urge to grab a red towel and yell "TORO!!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tommy asked, glancing nervously at Merton to make sure he wasn't going to relevate him. Merton's confused look assured him that for that night at least, he would be relevance-free.  
  
"Come on, Captain, you seriously don't know?!" Lori asked him, her hands on her hips. "Well, I've really got to beam out of here, back to my own vessel, but I suppose I could leave you with a little play."  
  
"She's going to leave us with a little play?" Tommy whispered to Merton. He just shrugged his shoulders, then turned his attention to their blonde friend who was grabbing the "Master Maven©" doll, oh, I mean action- figure off the shelf ("Master Maven©" courtesy of the "Stormy Weather" Episode).  
  
"Ok, captain, first lieutenant. Pay close attention to the diagram." Lori said quietly.  
  
Lori: Merton, how do you feel about Captain Tommy?  
  
Master Maven© a.k.a. Lori's voice in a high falsetto: I.I love him. I've secretly been admiring him for the longest time!  
  
"What!?" The real Maven -Merton-interrupted. "First of all, I don't sound like that! And second of all, I don't love Tommy! What are you talking about?!"  
  
"You do though Lieutenant Zulu!" Lori insister, thrusting forward the Maven© doll as proof. "You have to! You're the slightly eccentric good- looking Goth who falls in like with his teenage monster football captain friend! That's the way it always happens! It happens that way all the time! Klingon vessel approaching at 6.29 .95 light-years!"  
  
" Lori, what are you acting like this! What are you talking about?!" Tommy asked his friend, who was currently spinning around in Merton's computer chair at top speed, screeching something like "Alarm! Alarm! Shields up, full power! Phazers set to oblivion!!"  
  
"I'm just being logical, Captain." Lori said seriously, slowing the chair down with her feet. " if Lieutenant Zulu here has feelings for you, he should bring them out into the open. That's the logical thing to do. Any good Vulcan would do it."  
  
"I'm not a Vulcan!" Merton shouted, starting to think maybe Lori was in shock or something from being almost torched.  
  
"Oh, a traitor to the Federation!!" She shouted, grabbing a stapler off of Merton's desk. "Then I must be Vulcan enough for the both of us." She punched her watch quickly, still holding the stapler at Merton's head. Then she talked into it. "Security to the bridge. Take this traitor down to the brig, water rations."  
  
"Lori!" Tommy shouted, grabbing both of her wrists as Merton pulled himself away from her. "What's gotten into you! Have you been eating anything strange?"  
  
"I ate.I ate some of Merton's candy." She said quietly, drifting back into her own persona before reverting back. "Maybe it was poison, captain!"  
  
"Lori, what candy are you talking about." Merton asked cautiously, glancing around the lair.  
  
"This candy, traitor slime!" She shouted, pulling out of Tommy's grasp to grab a big handful. Merton dived at her, and pulled it out of her hand quickly. She looked like she was about to cry.  
  
" Lori!! This is potpourri! Jesus! You've eaten almost the entire bowl!!" Merton shouted, shocked. "You're delusional!"  
  
"No! It is yo0u who are delusional. Cap'n, he's-a tryin' to take ov'r the ship!" Lori said in a choppy Irish accent, and then she slumped down onto the ground, still spouting Star Trek nonsense.  
  
"Merton, is that stuff bad for her?!" Tommy asked, grabbing Lori and putting her into Merton's chair again, trying not to wolf out.  
  
"I don't know, Tommy. Look for yourself." Merton muttered sarcastically before he rushed upstairs top call 9-1-1. Lori didn't notice the traitor's escape, she was busy smushing the Maven© doll's face into the sketch of a werewolf which was laying on the desk, mumbling "Kissy kissy kissy kissy."  
  
Four hours and one stomach-pumping later, they all headed home. Lori's dad and step-mom came to pick her up at the hospital, driving her home as she dozed in the back seat. Merton wearily drove Tommy home from the hospital, glad to finally be out of there. The hearse was eerily silent, although it may have only been eerie since it was a hearse. It also may have been because Tommy was rather afraid to ask questions.  
  
Finally, he did. "You don't really like me, do you?"  
  
"You're not really a starship captain, are you? Of course I don't. That's just the crazy talk you get when Lori is on pot-pourri." Merton assured his friend.  
  
"Wouldn't it be weird though, is you and I were like a couple?" Tommy asked hesitantly, his voice unreadable.  
  
"Naw, it'd be.." Merton started. ERRR!!! "Okay, okay! Yes, it'd be weird, even for us. Not to mention completely immoral in the minds of bible thumpers and thirteen-year-olds with bad grammar.  
  
"Hmm." Was all Tommy said to that. Finally, Merton dropped him off at home at the end of a very long day. 


	2. ERRR!!! No I swear it's true!

I'm posting Chapter 2 already! Yey! Soon there might be more, but maybe not. I hope you liked the first chapter. Although I strongly doubt potpourri would have that kind of an effect on someone. Oh well, it was Lori, she deserved it *snickers meanly* I'm not gonna be weird and set a review quota (I'm not gonna write more unless I get.), But it would be helpful for my further inspiration. "Inspiration have I none, just to touch the flaming dove/ all I have is my love of love, and love is not loving"--- David Bowie, Soul Love, Ziggy Stardust album. P.S. David Bowie is Danny's favourite solo performing artist!  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing as the next day was a Saturday, Merton didn't get out of bed until about 11:30. Back when he was younger, his mum used to make him get up at about 9, but now that she was afraid to go into his room (thanks Rasputin), he took full advantage of his slumber time. As his brain started to function, he decided he better call Lori, just to check up on her, and maybe to tease her about the Vulcans. He was about to call her when his black cordless rang,  
  
"Lieutenant Zulu, traitor to the federation speaking." He answered, hoping it was Lori. No one answered. " Hello? This is actually Merton?"  
  
"Oh, hi!" Tommy said, relieved.  
  
"Why are you calling so early?" Merton asked in mock-shock.  
  
"It's noon time!"  
  
"I know! I might've been sleeping!"  
  
"Oh, hmm. Anyways, I was wondering if that truth spell wore off, or if you'll be stuck like that forever."  
  
"Well, thanks for caring! Actually, I'm not sure. Ask me something." Merton said cheerfully.  
  
"Um.did you think about what Lori said last night?"  
  
"Oh, yes, certainly! It bothered me, and I was up all night pondering the intricate details of our relationship." Merton said thoughtfully. There was a very long pause on the other end of the line. "Tommy? I'm just joking!"  
  
Tommy suddenly laughed, although very uneasily. "Wow, you're cured! That was a lie.that...it's great! No more truth spell. Although it was rather funny."  
  
"Funny? No way! Lori, or should I say, Lori the Vulcan, was much funnier than I."  
  
"I still can't believe she ate potpourri! Although some of the stuff she was talking about really has been bugging me." Tommy said quietly. Merton had to strain to hear the last part.  
  
"Oh, yeah me too. All that stuff about her being a Vulcan. But I've though about it, and I've decided that it just wouldn't be logical." Merton laughed at his own joke, but Tommy kept quiet on the other end of the phone. The raven-haired one decided to change the rather uncomfortable subject. "so, what are we going to do today? Go to the factory? Hang out at the park? Some how get into the school and sit in the cafeteria? Just stay at the Lair?"  
  
"No, no. We do that stuff all the time. Seriously! We need some new scenery. How about we go to the mall?" Tommy suggested.  
  
" How about I rip out my brain stem and go to the nearest 3-way."  
  
"No, 4-way."  
  
".4-way intersection and jump rope with it?" Merton said sarcastically. ERRR!!!  
  
"Merton?" Tommy asked. "You're buzzing! The spell isn't gone yet."  
  
"No, no. It's gone just.."ERRR!!! "That's just my alarm clock," ERRR!!! "I'm gonna go shut it off now." ERRR!!! Tommy heard before a dial tone. Merton had hung up on him. What a weird kid he could be sometimes.  
  
Then the thought hit Tommy ("Ow! Stop hitting me, thought!") that Merton had lied to him before, or had he? Had Merton really been up pondering the intricate details of their relationship? Were there intricate details in their relationship? If Merton really had been up all night, he hadn't been alone (well, physically yeah, but in spirit, ya know?). Tommy had also been up pondering. It wasn't like he was gay, but Merton was really different from all his other guy friends. He had never felt like he could really open up to any of them before, and even though Merton was a little eccentric, he was just fun to be around. And thinking back, Tommy had been around him a lot in the past couple of seasons. Almost a constant companion since the whole wolf thing started.  
  
So all of those things had been going around in his head last night, and he kinda wondered what it would be like if Merton and he. But anyway, he was just glad that he wasn't under any truth spell, or else Vulcans might not be the topic of conversation. Pulling on his letterman jacket, Tommy decided he had better go talk to Merton before his friend buzzed to death because of that truth spell.  
  
At the lair, Merton was sitting on the ground panting. ERRR!!! He shook, almost falling over. Damn spell! He couldn't get rid of it unless he told Tommy the truth, because he had already tried to explain to Becky and Lori, and while he did succeed in confusing them both; he hadn't succeeding in getting rid of ERRR!!! the spell. He tried to pick up the phone in shaking hands to call Tommy, but even if he ERRR!!! could manage to gather up the courage to call Tommy, he couldn't stop his fingers from shaking long enough to do so. Stupid truth spell!!! ERRR!!! He tried to stop it again. "I don't want to go to the nearest 3-way interERRR!!!section!" He shouted to no one. Suddenly, the buzzing stopped. Merton stood up and glanced at his non-shaking hands amazed. "I guess I didn't have to tell Tommy."  
  
"Hi Merton!"  
  
"ERRR!!! Oh, hi Tommy. How long have you been there?" Merton asked, startled.  
  
"Long enough." Tommy said grinning. "Why didn't you just tell me you were under the truth spell?"  
  
"What ERRR? What are you talking about ERRR? I'm not under any spell ERRR ERRR ERRR." Merton ERRRed. "I just ERRR decided to talk ERRR like this ERRR today ERRR."  
  
"SuERRR Merton." Tommy ERRRed in reply, laughing slightly.  
  
"No seriously, I really wasn't under the truth spell." ERRRR!!!!! Merton said, the mentioned spell taking effect. He began to shake violently.  
  
"It's getting worse Merton!" Tommy shouted over the ERRR!!! "Tell me the truth!"  
  
ERRR!!! "I'm sorry.I just don't." ERRR!!! Merton was shaking very violently, in danger of getting shaken baby syndrome (if he were indeed an infant). "Okay!! I lied! I'm still under the spell! I can't stop this horrible ERRRing unless I tell the truth!! And I did think about out intricate relationship! Stop this madness!" The ERRRing stopped. Merton collapsed on the floor, holding his head. Tommy grabbed some things of the desk and rushed to help his friend up to his feet.  
  
He grinned at his friend, who was still grimacing in pain, trembling slightly without the spells help, and offered him a bowl of something. "Some pot-pourri? I've heard it helps."  
  
Merton grinned weakly as Tommy helped him to sit on his bed. More seriously, Tommy offered him some aspirin, which he swallowed dry. As the dark-haired boy sat there trying to stop shaking, and Tommy looked on quietly, wishing he could help more. Finally, when it seemed Merton was feeling slightly better, he spoke again. "Who knew lying could be so dangerous, huh? It seems the spell gets worse the more lies you tell. I guess your dreams of being a lawyer are pretty well butchered too."  
  
Merton grinned weakly, rubbing his forehead gently. "Yeah, I guess. I really hope this goes away soon though."  
  
"Oh, come on. It's been educational." Tommy said, trying to cheer up his friend (and failing miserably).  
  
  
  
Strange place to end, I know. But that is all I have written at the moment. P.S. a little birdie told me that I oughta upload some of the fics I have written recently. I think they suck. What do you guys think? Visit my site at www.geocities.com/mertonpictureshow and tell me what you think. Or just hope that they are good and ask me to post them anyway. 8^). Thanks for the support! 


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